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Freemasons, illuminati & the new world order. I love conspiracy theories, the more outlandish the better and part of that is because deep down I want to believe there is mystery, and that hidden forces are quietly at work while we all sleep (or sleepwalk towards a rude awakening?). I must confess, my favorite rag of all time was The Weekly World News and I genuinely feel we are the poorer for its loss.

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GPS not working?

I was wandering around Facebook the other day and received a message asking me if I’d like to join the Illuminati. I was intrigued. So I asked why and how? To be rich and famous, was the answer to why and as for how, all I had to do was say yes — oh, and make a small ‘ contribution’. Aren’t the Illuminati supposed to be a secret society, said I. Oh we are, he replied. But I know you’re one now, I told him. No answer.

So, are the Illuminati part of the Freemasons? Or is it the other way around? Oh, no, not at all. “Ordinary” Freemasons have no idea that their order is secretly controlled by and run for the benefit of the Illuminati. Hmmm, interesting I said. But wasn’t George Washington a Freemason? A 33rd Degree Mason if I’m not mistaken. He wasn’t taking that bait.

How would you like to pay? asked he. I was tempted to say through the nose but I didn’t think he’d appreciate the humor. I politely declined and said I’d have to think about it, maybe we could chat again in a few days….I didn’t feel it would be fair to burst his bubble and tell him that I’m actually a Freemason myself.

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Cogito Ergo Sum

There is a wonderful poem by Roald Dahl in his Dirty Beasts book, called The Pig. It starts out

“In England once there lived a big

And wonderfully clever pig…”

And goes on to the praise the porcine’s learning and knowledge before arriving at the poor pig’s dilemma — he couldn’t figure out what life in general (and his in particular) was all about. Of course, eventually he did and then he was unhappy because, as the poet put it,

“Such thoughts as these are not designed

To give a pig great peace of mind”

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Of course I’m adorable!

Now my disillusioned recruiter had vanished into the ether and I was left alone, perturbed, and feeling a deep empathy with the pig’s dilemma. It wasn’t that I thought Secret Societies were so hard up for new recruits that they were resorting to fishing for the flotsam and jestsam bobbing around on the social media surf. No, I was instead filled with a sense of unease. You know how “they” say that if you don’t know who the patsy is, it’s you? And I don’t know who the patsy is.

Let’s indulge ourselves for a few minutes — CNN’s Anderson Cooper is the closest I’ve ever seen to a White Walker and I swear, Lawrence O’Donnell of MSNBC is definitely a Lizard Person. Two weeks ago, the US Department of Defense released footage of ‘UFOs’. And despite the economic collapse caused by the Covid-19 pandemic, Wall St. is booming and the bull market is back with a vengeance.

To paraphrase The X Files’ Mulder & Scully, is the Truth really out there, or do we just want to believe?